So you’ve just joined an online dating community. First of all, don’t be discouraged when your prospect dates have not yet responded to your queries.
It’s worth knowing that women members of online dating portals receive an average of fifty to 200 queries from other members of the opposite sex. So, it’s possible she’s just taking time going through all the queries she’s received. So you need to be a bit more patient.
If you are getting responses, good for you – You’ve probably done a good job on your profile and photos. And you can breeze past these next few paragraphs.
But, if you haven’t gotten many responses, you need to take a critical look at your profile. You are competing with all those other ‘winks’ the women members are receiving, and you have to have a fabulous profile created to put you at the top of the pile.
Having been on the receiving end of many “winks” I’m going to share some of my personal experiences with this so you can understand it from a woman’s point of view.
One of the most important things is to be truthful and honest about who you are and what you are looking for in someone else. Be realistic in your expectations – and be truthful about your height, physical 
condition, and annual salary. Projecting an inflated self image might get you responses, but eventually she’s going to find out who you really are.
The bottom line for most women is, “if he’ll lie on an online profile – what else is he hiding.”
Here’s a perfect example. Several years ago after a lot of back and forth phone calls & emails, I met up with someone who seemed like the guy I’d been looking for. His profile & photos showed a nice looking athletic man, 5′10″ tall. As I arrived at our meeting, the man walking towards me was at least 15 years older than his photo and only 5′6″ tall. If he hadn’t said my name, I would have walked right past him.
And while I’m mentioning photos . . . another really important item is the photo you select. Make sure it is a current photo that shows you at your best, with a winning smile, properly lit and clear. Isn’t that what you want to see in the photos offered by your prospective partners?
You wouldn’t believe how many “winks” I’ve received over the years from sloppy T’d or (even worse) shirtless guys squinting up into the web cam, caught in a very bad camera moment made worse by being blurred by the delay action. I’ve received a microscopic thumbnail of an old drivers license photo that would not enlarge beyond 1/4″ square. Another classic came as a photo taken with a group and no indication of who I should be looking at. Oh, and finally, there’s always a few travel photos included showing a beautiful landscape or mountain range – unfortunately the person I want to see is the sunglass’d figure crouching down in the lower left 1% of the total frame. I’d recommend you stay away from these choices.
Once you have your profile set and your photo(s) attached – if you have any questions about the quality or content – get a second opinion from an honest friend just to be sure.
Now you’re ready!
You need to take a proactive approach when it comes to online dating. Focusing on one woman will certainly reduce your chances of landing a response. And just like I said in my previous Tips for Women post, keep an open mind. Try sending messages to different women in order to bolster the probabilities of getting a good response.
Carefully choosing your would-be dates is a good thing to do since this would help you land the dates who have the same interests as yours. However, don’t be too selective.
In addition, read through the profiles of your intended partners in order to incorporate a few things they like on your own profile, but keep in mind to include just the things you are actually interested in. By doing so, your prospective partners will read through your profile after receiving contact from you and they’ll end up remembering you because of the stuff that’s on your profile.
Best of all, she may even be able to tell that you took the time to read through her profile and now want to establish a connection with her.
